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Friday, August 18, 2006
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall, YOU�RE the fairest of them All!
August 27, 1956 was when I was born. I share my birthday with former President Lyndon Baines Johnson, actress, Marlena Dietrich, and the world’s best know saint on earth, Mother Theresa plus the African-American checker at the Pottery Tent in Marshall, Texas. This year’s birth date is a life-affirming one for me. I am turning the BIG FIVE O!
When I was a child, either my birthday hit the first day of school or around the day we had to put our shoes back on. Hard to have a birthday party on the first day of school as teachers have something other in mind than the traditional cupcake and Kool-aid that our mothers in pumps and pearls served to all the children on a napkin at our desks.
My sister, Karen, begs to differ and told my youngest daughter that my never having a birthday party was a big lie. I proceeded to question her memory and set her straight, after all, I am the oldest. Don’t worry; I have ways of getting back at my sister who turns the BIG FIVE O next year.
Okay, she was right in one sense, I had a birthday slumber party once. Yes, and note I said once. When I was in the 7th grade, my mother relented after endless begging to let me have a few of my closest friends over to spend the night as my birthday fell on a weekend. The only thing was I had to promise we would never step a foot inside her house as we might disturb the rake lines on her champagne white shag carpet. We had to stay outside the house so we slept in the old garden shed that was our clubhouse in the backyard. My mother did not allow children in the house. They were to be seen outside and not heard. I think that was pretty much the same for all my other friends’ mothers too.
We walked across the street that night to go the Lo-Mar Drive In, which was the local hangout, for hamburgers, French fries and Cokes for supper. My mother did not bake me a cake but my Aunt Teenie did later. It was lovely three-layered lavender cake with pink ribbons around each layer tied in bows. I thought it was the most beautiful cake I had ever seen and she even brought me a small aquarium with a real goldfish. I was speechless and my mother was too. She did not speak to my Aunt Teenie or me for weeks.
I had a fabulous birthday even though all eight of us girls were cram packed into the attic of that garden shed. If you lifted your head up too high the nails that held on the roof shingles would hit you. Now Karen, note because of my liar -calling sister, I have been forced to admit, I did get one birthday party. She tried to tell my daughters that I had birthday parties at the park but those were actually for my youngest sister, Karol as her birthday fell on August 10th before school started. We all got gypped’ as usually our birthday gifts consisted of back to school clothes, which we would have gotten anyway. Poor Karen’s birthday hit right after Christmas so her birthday was always thrown in with her Christmas presents.
My grandparents always got me incredible and totally me gifts. Once a sewing basket filled with sewing notions from my Grandmother Murphy. She taught me how to sew and I made a quilt for my troll doll, which I still have framed and hanging on my wall. My mother’s mother, Mudd got me once Russell Stover chocolate turtles. My mother said they were too rich for children but Mudder told me I could eat the whole box, which I did. I never even got sick. Therefore, to set the record straight, yes Karen I did get ONE birthday party in 17 years. You caught me.
When I was seventeen, I went to college. For two weeks, I was underage and could not go to Aggieville, the strip of bars and shops that Kansas State University students loved to visit. My first weekend of college all the girls from my dorm headed out to bar hop in Aggieville. I could not go, as I did not have a valid I.D. They had no problem in going without me. For two weeks I sat in the dorm as all my friends went out to have what I thought was the time of their lives. I, on the other hand, sat in my dorm room plucking my eyebrows, painting my nails, reading and popping popcorn. These were the days before television in the dorm room, DVD players, and the internet. I did as I always do. I stuck my nose in a book. Big birthday whoopee!
Then my birthday FINALLY rolled around and here came my friends. “Let’s go to Aggieville! Woo! Hoo! You’re eighteen and legal!� they cried jubilantly as they applied another layer of lip-gloss and flipped back their Farah Fawcett’s wings.
“I don’t think so,� I muttered barely looking up from my latest read “Jaws� by Peter Benchley.
“Why not Murphy? Let’s par- tee!�
I was not moving. They had gone out for weeks leaving me all alone in dorm room hell. Call me holding a grudge, I was going to be stubborn and stand my ground that happened to be sitting in my dorm room.
“Alright then Murphy, can we borrow your I.D.? One totally crass so-called friend asked.
“What do you want my I.D. for?
“Free pitchers on your birthday, can we have it please?�
I can tell you that what I basically told them was don’t let the doorknob hit you on the backside on your way out. Actually, my lines were a tad more colorful!
So birthdays!
As an adult, I have a party for myself every year whether anybody comes or not! It’s my day and looking at the alternative, I prefer celebrating birthdays in a big way. I am alive! Last year I told my friends to kidnap me and take me somewhere fun. I had my bags packed and was ready from beachwear to snowsuit! What I wasn’t prepared for was Hurricane Katrina.
We were to all meet at my shop Saturday night, my birthday after I finished work, have a celebratory Leopardtini, and hit the road! Then Hurricane Katrina hit the fan and all plans came to a screeching halt. As the storm wailed outside, I wailed on the inside, another crappy birthday!
However, something happened in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, Jefferson was flooded with displaced families who left New Orleans and the coast with nothing more than their flip flops, t-shirts, maybe a family pet, and their credit cards. They came to Jefferson driving brand new S.U.V.’s thinking a few days to kick back while the storm is hitting at home. We got the lucky ones.
They took the boat rides, the train rides, visited the museum, walked the ghost walk and then the news came crashing in. They had lost their homes, livelihoods; they were maxed out on their credit cards and no way to get to their money in the bank. They were broke and homeless.
I have to say that Jefferson really embraced these folks and I got a wakeup call. I had my home, my family, my job, and my things. I was ashamed of my wealth. Here were people who were in shock. I heard my bookseller friend in Bay St. Louis, Mississippi lost her house and her bookstore. Pastor Polly Standing at the First United Methodist Church I caught waiting tables at The Hamburger Store. “Who are all these people?� I asked her as volunteered bussing tables.
“Kathy, these are Hurricane Katrina families and Judy and Buck are feeding them all for free,� she called back as she ran dirty plates back to the kitchen.
The Hamburger Store served over two thousand free meals to these people. The families parked on my front porch as we had wireless internet and they would try to reach love ones. I rallied my Pulpwood Queens book club to bring food and we provided coolers of ice cold drinks. I placed decks of cards, games, newspapers out on the front porch for the families to keep them occupied. My girls and I decided to do free story hours and I found the adults enjoyed the stories as much as the children did. Our exchange student from Japan, Chisato, taught the children origami. This went on for weeks and I started offering free haircuts and shampoos to the families.
We still have families here from those storms and they have found Jefferson their new home. Suddenly not having birthday parties seemed somewhat stupid to me. Here were people who had lost everything but each other.
My children and I cleaned out our closets and gave away all extra clothing, shoes, bedding, sheets, and pillows. I haven’t missed a thing.
This year I again asked my friends to kidnap me for my birthday, as this was the biggie. Fifty years of birthdays uncelebrated and I wanted to do something really different. Since Hurricane Katrina swept through and washed out my birthday, I wanted to go to New Orleans and see for myself where it happened. I wanted to see how much had been done and since the media has decided that its old news, I just wanted to see what was probably the world’s biggest natural disaster to happen in my lifetime. We are heading to the Big Easy! I will have a full report later in September.
Now some people tell you, please refrain from gifts, your presence and well wishes are all the birthday guy, or gal would ever need. After going through Hurricane Katrina and Rita, I could not agree more. Honestly, I do not need a thing, but there is something that I want. First, I want everyone to send me a hand mirror signed on the mirror side. They need not be expensive, just unique and remind me of YOU! This will be a tribute to my friend and Pulpwood Queen Joyce Jackson Futch who we lost to cancer. She had a border of hand mirrors in her house and I want to border my bookstore with these hand mirrors to be a reflection of my friends. You say you want to see beauty. I see beauty reflected in the eyes of others. Look out instead of looking in. Beauty does come from within but we must reflect that to others.
Second, I want tiaras, crowns, and they need not be expensive either but unique. I am going to make a light fixture of these treasures from my friends to remind me, I know this sounds sappy, but it is YOU that light up my life. We have crowned ourselves the “beauty within� queens and I can tell you that entering my shop always brings a smile to everyone’s face. I think this will have everyone laughing his or her head off so why not have that happen with a little bling!
Third, I want everyone to understand that though it has been a year, the devastation of Hurricane Katrina and Rita should not be forgotten. We need to help more than ever. Thanks to author, Cathryn Michon, I have an address and have been helping her collect books for the libraries in Louisiana to replace all the wonderful books that were lost during that devastation. Here is her email and I hope that you will make a donation too.
Kathy,
Here is the info that you asked for as to where books can be sent for the Trent Reznor/Melissa Beyeler library restocking project for Louisiana.
Apparently I had it wrong, they need both kid and adult books.
Books may be sent to:
Care unlimited Renee Pratt 3313 S. Saratoga Suite 6 New Orleans, Lousiana 70115
Please indicate that the books sent were solicited by Melissa Beyeler so she knows where they are coming from.
Melissa also asks that you include who has donated the books, and an address for them, so that the people from her foundation can send donors a tax deduction thank you letter.
This further from Melissa:
“We also need books for adults- so everything will get used. We are trying to re-stock all the schools and libraries as well. I so appreciate your help on this, it means the world to me.”
Kathy I am so grateful to you for the way you jumped in on this one. It’s a really noble effort and I know that it is dear to your life mission of spreading a love for books and reading.
Love,
Cathryn
Last, I would like to say that I now see the second part of my life as the time of my life to give back for all that I have taken. Because the First United Methodist Church was so instrumental in coordinating the Hurricane Katrina and Rita relief efforts for the displaced families, I am starting an annual Christian and Inspirational Book Festival. To be called BOOKS ALIVE! this will be a total fundraiser for that church November 3 – 5, 2006, to replace all their depleted funds and to help them continue their outreach and mission efforts.
I sent out an email to all my Christian and Inspirational author friends and asked them, “Who can help me help this church in helping others?� Every author I emailed told me they would come except one and that was only because his church was having their annual fall festival that same weekend. He is coming later. Go to my website, www.beautyandthebook.com to read more about BOOKS ALIVE! In addition, if you cannot make it, please send a check made payable to the First United Methodist Church of Jefferson. That donation would be the best birthday present ever!
Happy Birthday to me and let me tell you too that if you let me know when your birthday is, I will help you celebrate your special day too. What is your favorite birthday memory? How would you like to make your day more memorable? Or what was your biggest birthday disaster? I love the stories. My favorite motto by Muriel Rukheyser is “The world is made up of stories, not atoms.� Let us just see that we have one heck of a story to tell, shall we? And my birthday wish? Pay it forward.
Tiara wearing, Book, and Birthday sharing,
Kathy L. Patrick
