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April 2007
THE LADY WITH THE ALLIGATOR PURSE
When I was little, I always had a purse. I believe my first ones were the obligatory ones my mother purchased for me when my mother took me and my sisters to Zenisheck’s Department store or Frock and Bonnet to buy our Easter accessories; hat, gloves and purse. We then carried those little white bags every Sunday to church and for special occasions. They were very special and made us feel so grown up as our mother, grandmother, and all the women we knew carried handbags that were filled with wondrous things.
My grandmother’s handbag she carried in the crook of her arm. It was always black. Inside she had a handkerchief, a coin purse, lipstick, and these amazing little boxes of prescription pills. I loved to open and close the little boxes and look at the different colored pills. Of course, to me they looked like candy and then one day the temptation was just too great. I ate some of the little yellow ones. They were awful and bitter and my grandmother made a frantic call to Dr. Caitlin to find out what to do. Evidently, I was safe. I remember something about them being liver pills. I never ever took another pill. Mysterious, these handbags.
We even at recess jumped rope to the rhyme about a lady with an alligator purse. I always wanted an alligator purse and so now, I do.
The Lady with the Alligator Purse
Miss Lucy had a baby,
His name was Tiny Tim.
She put him in the bathtub,
To see if he could swim.
He drank up all the water.
He ate up all the soap.
He tried to eat the bathtub,
But it wouldn’t go down his throat.
Miss Lucy called the doctor,
Miss Lucy called the nurse.
Miss Lucy called the lady
With the alligator purse.
“Mumps,” said the doctor.
“Measles,” said the nurse.
“Hiccups,” said the lady
With the alligator purse.
Out went the doctor.
Out went the nurse.
Out went the lady
With the alligator purse.
I have been collecting handbags and purses ever since. Therefore, when I heard from an author named Barbara Hagerty and how she had written a book on the history of Handbags, I was intrigued. How Barbara heard about me is a more amazing story. I had had my friend and author, Pat Conroy’s new wife to my shop, Cassandra King. I had discovered Cassandra’s first book at the Mid-South Bookseller’s Association Convention in New Orleans, Making Waves in Zion. The story was about a young woman who inherits her aunt’s house and beauty salon in the south. The book seemed perfect for my book club, The Pulpwood Queens, and me as I have the only Hair Salon/Bookstore in the country, Beauty and the Book.
The publisher soon thereafter sent Cassandra to my shop and I wanted to give her something special. Something that would let her know just how much I love Pat Conroy and something that would be a celebration of their new life together. I gave her a purse. This purse was handmade by my friend and Pulpwood Queen, Constance Muller, artist and handbag designer. This purse was called a Floralina and they are doll purses, little fairy like dolls each wearing one of kind dresses where the dress skirt unzips in the back to hold are your special little things with a little matching cloth handle. These purses are for special occasions. My daughters and I have now collected nine of them. I gave her one to carry for special occasions.
Evidently, she carried it one day when she had lunch with her friend and author, Barbara Hagerty. Barbara just had to know where she got the purse, as she wanted to feature it in her book, Handbags: A Peek Inside A Woman’s Most Trusted Accessory. Four of Constance’s’ little Floralina were featured in the book. I had both Barbara and Constance in for a Floralina trunk show and book signing. That was years ago.
You can imagine my delight when Constance and her mother, Lois bopped into my shop to tell me that there was going to be a gallery show of the purses at the Texarkana Regional Arts & Humanities Council building in Texarkana. We traveled to Texarkana to see that exhibit this past Tuesday with my fellow bookseller, Fred McKenzie in tow. After a delightful lunch at the local eatery, The Cobbler Shop, we headed to TRAHCS. You can imagine our delight when we spied Constance’s floral festooned Floralina all in luscious shades of pinks in the glass display case. Interestingly enough, besides purses, there were vintage hats and dresses displayed on the walls. Constance took many photos to send to Barbara Hagerty of the gallery exhibit. Several of those she has sent to me for you to view below. This exhibit is traveling the country. For more information go to www.barbarahagerty.com or to www.constancemullerdesigns.com. I also got Constance to sign a limited quantity of the book Handbags to sell in my shop. To order your own signed copy, please go to my shopping page.
Reading can take you wonderful places and help you also discover beautiful things. A purse is, says Hagerty, “more than a mere utilitarian container, a purse is, I realize, an extension of the person who carries it, a miniature portrait in cloth, beads, plastic, leather or feathers.” The last two Floralina I purchased from Constance I let my daughters select for their birthdays. Helaina chose a black dressed Floralina with an Evening at the Opera theme. Madeleine chose a wedding Floralina. I am sure both will be carried on those very special occasions.
What do you keep in your purse? You would not believe what I found when I dumped the contents just now on the floor. Here is my inventory:
Billfold
Antique Mirror
Lipstick and various makeup
Paint color sample cards
Granite Crystals to add sparkle to paint
Paint Can opener
Tweezers
Infamous Video
Business cards
Phone Charger
Yesterday’s Marshall News Messenger
Discount coupon for Chico’s
Easter card from my Mother
Cell phone
Almost ten dollars in change
Black Cat Adhesive Bandages with Free Toy Inside
Sonic straw
Watch batteries
Troll doll
Travel hairpiece
Coated black rubber bands
Key chain with many keys and bling
One fancy swanky earring
Assorted pens crumbled bank and purchase receipts
Notebook with names of those who purchased tickets for Rue McClanahan event
Advanced galley for Salmon Fishing in the Yemen by Paul Yorday.
Yes, that all came from my purse and it is big. Not sure what those contents tell about me but I am sure someone can tell me. Do you have a purse story? I would love to hear from you. Happy Spring and if you are in or near Texarkana, treat yourself to this special galley show. For more information on TRAHCS go to www.arts.state.tx.us/CalTCA/calendar.cfm?&AssocID=639&header=1
Tiara wearing, Book, and Purse sharing,
Kathy L. Patrick
Founder of the Pulpwood Queens
P.S. And my favorite purse bedside’s Constance’s Floralina? A vintage black handbag redesigned with an Elvis theme complete with Elvis, guitars, tiaras and leopard lining made especially for me from author, Ruby Ann Boxcar significant other, Kevin, make-up artist and hair designer extraordinaire!
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Karaoke! What Does Karaoke Mean?
Friday afternoon I decided that I would have a birthday party for my husband, the Jaybird. I, as usual, fly by the seat of my skirt as his birthday was that night. It kind of snuck up on me.
We were all in the shop trying to figure out to what to buy a man who always buys himself anything that he really wants. Cologne, no, won’t wear it. A tie, been done a kazillion times. More than half the things I have bought him through the years and still in the box, in a drawer, or hanging in the closet.
For Christmas, I finally thought I had found him something he really wanted, a Tractor Supply megajama tool chest on wheels. Christmas morning I pointed to the back of my car as the thing was so heavy I could not get it out to hide in the garage for Christmas morning. Somehow, he hauled it out of the back of my Inferno Red Pacifica and proceeded to put all his tools inside. He spent all morning organizing his tools in that chest. I haven’t seen him go near it since.
So for his 46th I went all out, we were taking him to Auntie Skinner’s Riverboat Club in Jefferson for a night of Karaoke. I gave Jay part of his birthday gift, some Navy blue Crocs RX. We have a new podiatrist in town that has opened a shoe store called Footsteps and these shoes leave all other shoes on the rack. They may not be as stunning as Manolo Blanick’s or Jimmy Chou’s but as far as comfort, sublime.
I dropped Jay off at the bar as I ran to the Hamburger Store to buy some pies. Who says you need a cake for a birthday! It’s always pie for Jay, as pie does not get any better than this. I picked up two three-berry with rhubarb and ran to Brookshire’s to get some Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla ice cream and some candles.
When I walked into Auntie Skinner’s Jay was sitting at the bar with Mary Hileman. Now Mary is one of our favorite Jeffersonians, her son was my husband’s roommate at the University of Texas in Austin. His name is Jay too. We then moved to a table that Robbie, who was tending bar, had set up for us. I noticed this guy getting the Karaoke all set up. He seemed very gung-ho dancing and bopping around as he set up all the equipment. We ordered dinner, as we knew everybody was all coming a different time. Ballgames were in full swing in Jefferson and most of our friends had kids in tournaments. They would be in after the games.
Just as our food was served here came 88-year-old Fred McKenzie, my fellow bookseller, then my sister Karen and her husband, Richard. Jay told everyone at the table, “You know you are over the hill when an 88 year old gives you at 46 years old an over the hill card. Auntie Bev arrived just as the Karaoke began. I have never seen such a wide variety of Karaoke singers, professional Karaoke singers. They each had their own CD’s and would demand, “Track 7, and skip the intro”. All ages of singers, all types of dress from a guy wearing all black with red roses embroidered on his shirt, kind of a Mexican looking Elvis. Then this other dude caught our eye in the whitest, tightest jeans we had ever seen. He had on a white fringed shirt, black knee high cowboy boots, and a black cowboy hat. We could not take our eyes off this guy. The Karaoke guy started the evening singing some head banger song then a montage of Generation X’ers singing everything from David Allen Coe’s “You Never Call Me by My Name” to Evanescence’s “Call Me When You’re Sober”. Then Elvis took the stage.
The Elvis guy kind of had the look and kind of had the sound but as the evening progressed, he seemed to get better. I mean he had the dance moves but I am afraid that everybody rather had their beer goggles on. When he sang “Suspicious Minds”, Jay hollered at all of us at the table that if we closed our eyes, we could almost imagine being at Graceland. I yelled “NOT” as we all burst in laughter.
More friends showed up and then the guy in the black and white cowboy outfit took the stage. We had all been waiting to see what kind of talent he would display. You could have heard a pin drop as he took the stage. Evidently, everybody else was as curious too. He mumbled something about not being much of a singer. I thought, hmmm, with all these professional Karaoke singers in the building, this was a strange way to begin his performance. What happened next was something nobody expected to happen or ever hear or see in their lifetime.
The opening strains of “In the Jungle” began and then in that high pitched tone he sang, “In the village, the sleepy village, the lion sleeps tonight”. The crowd was dumbfounded. My sister leaned in and said, “Man, those pants must be really tight!” We just lost it. We laughed until we cried. That song was the last song in the world I ever dreamed that guy would sing.
As I looked around at everybody laughing and having a great time, I looked at Jay. It wasn’t a fancy birthday party, or one that you could put down in the history books, but we were surrounded by the people we love and everybody was having a blast. Jay may have not got that perfect “present” but he was presently having a very good time.
Birthdays are special and I hope that Jay remembers this birthday as a really great one. Later on our daughter joined us and I remember feeling that ole parent pride as she sang Peggy Lee’s “Fever”. Our friend Jim Gallant even took the stage with a big ole stogie and sang “Mack the Knife”. After the pie was shared, the ice cream had melted, we gathered the gifts, and headed for the house.
We will be talking about the cowboy, the night, and Elvis for days to come. I still laugh out loud when the main Karaoke guy yelled, “Elvis has left the building.” These are the stories that we treasure, and share, and pass on. And isn’t it always like my favorite quote, “The world is made up of stories, not atoms.” So why don’t you comment and share a story with me. A story that made you laugh until you cried, something unusual that may have happened to you, or that favorite birthday moment. I look forward to hearing from you.
Tiara wearing and Book sharing,
Kathy L Patrick
Founder of the Pulpwood Queens Book Clubs
www.beautyandthebook.com www.pulpwoodqueen.com
P.S. For those of you that would like to know, karaoke means singing to prerecorded music. It’s a form of entertainment in which amateur singers sing popular songs accompanied by a prerecorded music from a machine that may also display the words on a video screen.
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