Micheele Obama: A working mom known for putting family and friends first

DENVER — On the stage at the Democratic National Convention in August, Michelle Obama told her daughters that she had a surprise for them.

"Is it the Jonas Brothers?" 10-year-old Malia asked excitedly.

Uh, no. It was Daddy appearing live on a video feed from Kansas City.

Malia and her 7-year-old sister, Sasha, were not thrilled that the historic convention where their father would become the first African American nominated for president by a major political party conflicted with their fave teen band's concert in Chicago, Barack Obama told reporters on a campaign plane.

The episode illustrates how well Michelle Obama has succeeded in keeping the lives — and priorities — of her young daughters nearly as normal those of children in millions of American families where both parents have jobs. Friends of the 44-year-old woman who may be first lady describe her as a typical working mother in many ways.

"First and foremost, she's a mom," said Valerie Jarrett, who hired Michelle Obama to work in the office of Chicago Mayor Richard M. Daley and is now president of The Habitat Company. "I knew her as a professional woman for the first few years. ././. But her daughters were her first priority from the days they was born."

Now her friend's life is "a balancing act" between the campaign trail and her daughters at home and in the University of Chicago elementary school they attend, explained Jarrett. She has to "juggle responsibilities" like other mothers who have a job and children.

Michelle Obama campaigns three or four days a week but doesn't like to spend more than one night a week away from her daughters. Her 71-year-old mother, Marian Robinson, lives nearby and picks the girls up from school every afternoon. Malia and Sasha call her "Grandma" and she sleeps over when her daughter is away overnight. There is no nanny.

"She weaves family and campaigning in a very effective way," said Susan Sher, another longtime friend who is vice president of legal and government affairs for the University of Chicago Medical Center. "I was on a fund-raising trip with Michelle to Florida, where she gave a speech in the evening and immediately called the girls and was talking about a science project."

At the Democratic convention, the could-be first lady hosted a sleep over for 15 pre-teen girls in the suite of the presidential nominee, said Sher. Under their mom's guidance, Malia and Sasha made Valentines and Father's Day cards for the Secret Service agents who were guarding them rather than being home with their own families. The Obama girls opted out of attending their Dad's first debate with Republican nominee John McCain, said Sher, but they decided to accompany their mother to an appearance on The Ellen DeGeneres Show when they learned the Jonas Brothers would also be guests.

"There are not many people you trust with your children," said Sandy Matthews, vice president of external relations for Illinois Action for Children whose daughter, Paige, 10, and Malia Obama have shared Saturday play times almost since birth. "Miche" is among her trusted few, said Matthews, whose husband, Gary Matthews, played outfield for the Atlanta Braves and is now a baseball commentator on TV.

When she was asked how she was roped into taking the girls to a Hannah Montana concert, Matthews replied, "Miche has got soccer next week." The candidate's wife still handles her share of the activities.

"You need those kinds of friendships" as a working mother, Matthews said.

Even if the family moves to the White House, Michelle Obama said her role will remain much the same.

"My first job in all honesty is going to continue to be mom-in-chief," she told Ebony Magazine. "Making sure in this transition, which will be even more of a transition for the girls ././. that they are settled and that they know they will continue to be the center or our universe."

From South Side to Princeton

As a girl growing up on the South Side of Chicago, Michelle Robinson was "just like Sasha," her younger daughter, said Marian Robinson, who retired from her job as a bank teller in order to help care for her grandchildren.

"She always had her own opinions about things and she didn't hesitate to say so because we allowed it," the Obama girls' grandma told Ebony Magazine. "She just seemed like she wanted to do the right thing all the time without being told and she wanted to be the best at things. She liked winning."

Michelle and her brother, Craig, who is two years older, were raised in a one-bedroom apartment not far from the $1.65 million house where the Obamas live now. Marian Robinson was a stay-at-home mother. Fraser Robinson was a formidable father even though he suffered from multiple sclerosis. He worked for the Chicago water department and served as a Democratic precinct captain.

Fraser Robinson died in 1990. Michelle and Craig say he never raised his voice to them, saying only "I'm disappointed" when they misbehaved.

"You never wanted to disappoint him," his daughter told Newsweek. "We would be bawling."

After Craig Robinson won a basketball scholarship to Princeton, his younger sister decided to go there, too, and won an academic scholarship on her own. Craig Robinson is now head basketball coach at Oregon State University.

During her senior year in 1985, then Michelle Robinson wrote a thesis titled, "Princeton-Educated Blacks and the Black Community."

"My experiences at Princeton have made me far more aware of my 'blackness' than ever before," she wrote in the thesis introduction. "I have found that at Princeton, no matter how liberal and open-minded some of my white professors and classmates try to be toward me, I sometimes feel like a visitor on campus; as if I really don't belong. Regardless of the circumstances under which I interact with whites at Princeton, it often seems as if, to them, I will always be black first and a student second."

The thesis and Princeton's initial reluctance to release it sparked some criticism from the political right.

"The thesis implies that Black college graduates who wish to 'benefit the Black community' and to help the Black 'lower class' should spend more time with Blacks than with Whites, whether in their professional work, family life or recreational activities, and adhere to a 'separatist/pluralist' ideology as opposed to an 'integrationist/assimilations' philosophy," wrote Rachel Neuwirth in The Conservative Voice. "This amounts to a rationale for Black separatism."

But Michelle Obama's life and career have run counter to any sort of racial separatism. After graduating from Princeton, she received a law degree from Harvard and initially practiced at Sidney Austin, an old-line law firm in Chicago. Among her close friends, there are about as many whites as blacks.

It was at Sidney Austin in 1989 that she received an assignment to mentor a summer associate named Barack Obama, a biracial Harvard Law student from Hawaii. She resisted his initial requests for a date but eventually relented after he took her to a church basement to observe his community organizing.

They were married in 1992.

"I was lucky enough to be invited to attend Michele and Barack's wedding and meet their families. The wedding was full of love and was a lot of fun," said Cindy Moelis, executive director of the Pritzker-Traubert Family Foundation. "Our friendship grew as we had children and relied on each other for support and advice as we raise our children — this is still a work in progress."

In 1991, Michelle Obama had left private law practice to work for Chicago Mayor Daley.

Two years later, after leaving the Chicago municipal government, she founded and directed Public Allies, a youth leadership development organization, and worked at several positions at the University of Chicago.

Since her husband decided to run for president, she has divided her time between his campaign and their children.

Her campaign appearance that people remember most came in February when she spoke of her husband's candidacy in Milwaukee: "People in this country are ready for change and hungry for a different kind of politics, and for the first time in my adult life I am proud of my country because it feels like hope is finally making a comeback."

Critics questioned why she hadn't been proud of her country before.

"I am proud of my country," said Cindy McCain, wife of the Republican candidate. "I don't know if you heard those words earlier, but I am very proud of my country."

"The point is that of course Michelle is proud of her country, which is why she and Barack talk constantly about how their story wouldn't be possible in any other nation on Earth," campaign spokeswoman Jen Psaki told reporters at the time. "What she meant is that she's really proud at this moment because for the first time in a long time, thousands of Americans who've never participated in politics before are coming out in record numbers to build a grass roots movement for change."

Her friends regard the formidable professional competence of the 5 feet, 11 inches tall Michelle Obama almost as a given and dwell instead on her qualities as a friend and mother.

"Anybody who knows Michelle knows how kind and funny she is," said Sher. "She is really good natured."

Since her daughter, Paige, and Malia are only two months apart, they have been together practically their whole lives, said Matthews. During Saturday morning play groups, "we rotated homes. The girls played in the middle of the floor and we talked about what was going on in our lives," said Matthews. "Later, we signed the girls up for ballet together."

"Miche" still does her part in carpools and on park benches in advising and comforting friends, she said.

"With all of her Ivy League education and schooling, she has been able to maintain this very practical and very down to earth way of embracing life," Matthews explained.

Sher recalled when her mother died last summer.

"Michelle was in the middle of everything but she was the first person I heard from," she said. "How am I doing? How is my father doing? She has that touch."

She laughingly recounted the first time Michelle Obama met her elderly parents. Sher had given a speech at the University of Chicago and was walking out with her father.

"We kinda forgot my mother," she said. "Then I hear Michelle saying, 'Susan, you forgot your mom.' And she's there holding hands with my mom, who she's never met before."