Verdict: A proposal you should turn down.
Details: Starring Chris O'Donnell and Renee Zellweger. Directed by Gary Sinyore. Rated PG-13 for profanity. 1 hour, 41 minutes.
Rate it: Write your own review
Review: "The Bachelor" seems made for some untapped demographic. It's aimed at either a) somebody who's
never seen a movie, and really, truly worries that the Guy won't get the Girl, plus the $100 million
inheritance; or b) anyone who thinks there's something insightful about an analysis of male-female
relations described in terms of wild mustangs and lassos; or c) it's for fans of Chris O'Donnell and
Renee Zellweger who believe the adorable but bland actors have what it takes to carry a romantic
comedy. They don't.
They go through their motions because the script says so, but they have the chemistry of bread and
glue.
O'Donnell plays Jimmy, a San Francisco playboy who settles down for three years with Anne
(Zellweger). Even though she's perfect, he manages to propose to her twice in ways that are as
insincere as they are unfunny. She declines. Then Jimmy's grandfather dies, leaving him $100 million,
on the condition that he marries within 24 hours. Problem is, Anne has (supposedly) left the country,
forcing Jimmy to woo past girlfriends. Oh, don't worry, he's not a cad; he needs the money to save
the family business and keep his loving employees employed. (Personally, I would have liked Jimmy
more if he really did just want the money; a spark of greed might have been what the character
needs to come to life.)
Jimmy's exes and possible bride-to-be's include a cop, a clinger, a boring chef and other types that
just aren't realized wittily enough in Steve Cohen's screenplay. The only bright spot is Brooke
Shields (yes, really), playing a bottom-line, chain-smoking ice queen who agrees to marry Jimmy,
but only if he doesn't touch her. (Not so lucky are Ed Asner, Hal Holbrook and James Cromwell,
good actors all, given lousy material here.)
A clumsy remake of Buster Keaton's silent classic "Seven Chances," "The Bachelor" retains the
original's surreal image of thousands of brides chasing the groom-to-be, after one of Jimmy's pals
leaks news of the $100 mil to the press. Consistent with a matter-of-fact misogyny that runs
throughout the flick, these countless would-be brides leap off the screen as scary caricatures.
Trapping Jimmy in church, they demand to know what he looks for in a woman. The less shapely
among them accuse him of only liking skinny blondes with nice breasts. It's a hard argument for the
movie to shake: Not only has it never convinced us that Jimmy and Anne are meant to be together,
it's never allowed her character to be anything but the sweet, well-built blank that are always the
girls a movie hero weds.
The funny thing is, nobody who made "The Bachelor" seems to notice that the script pinpoints its own
formulaic emptiness before wheezing on to its foregone happy ending.
— Steve Murray, Cox News Service
[an error occurred while processing this directive]
The Bachelor
