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Talking in TEOTWAWKI


Wednesday, October 07, 2009

I think I can tell you what you were thinking about ten years ago today. It might not have been at the very top of your mind, but it was there somewhere.

For some of you, I hope only a few, it could have been scaring you out of your wits.

And I'm also guessing that right about now most of you don't have a clue what I am referring to.

Remember Y2K? It was the problem with computers and their internal clocks, which had not been manufactured with the ability to go to the year 2000. Because of this, it was feared, computers all over the world would crash simultaneously and, well, who knew what would happen.

It's rare I have the opportunity to irk both conservative and liberal readers with one column so, when it comes around, I say go for it with gusto.

The Y2K bust, as it turned out to be, has lessons for us all. The people who need them most will probably not pay any attention, but they are there nonetheless.

Luckily, a few of the Web sites that existed at this time ten years ago can still be found on the Internet, though almost all have been taken down, probably due to the extreme embarrassment of those who made them.

I was moderately concerned myself. It was difficult not to be. We were all given many doomsday scenarios. I knew people who were much more worried. One former co-worker told me she had stockpiled roughly a thousand gallons of drinking water for her family and several thousand MREs. She figured they could stretch it for months if need be.

After it was all over she told me she was fine with the expense she made, that her family would just eat the MREs. Yeah, right.

I still don't blame her for what she did. Everyone was selling panic back then. One site gave four possible scenarios, very minor, larger but without long-lasting problems, panic and major disruptions even if problems weren't that serious, and, finally, The End Of The World As We Know It.

On the Web at the time — and maybe even today — this is known by its acronym, TEOTWAWKI.

Of course, every site I could find was predicting TEOTWAWKI. Here's what one of them had to say, I left the screaming all caps as they were:

"THERE IS NO SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE AT THE END OF 1998 THAT WARRANTS DISMISSAL OF THIS SCENARIO. In light of the overwhelming evidence that this is a strong possibility, many people remain unmoved. However unbelievable it may seem, what evidence — not faith, or belief, or assumption — what EVIDENCE do you have to be optimistic?"

The author of the site said there is no way "we" would have enough fixed in time for the disaster.

And just who do you think "we" was in this case?

It was the United States government. The unifying theme of all these sites was that the government was either inept, corrupt or, in a few cases, was actually behind the impending disaster as a clever way of being able to declare martial law and take away all of our freedoms.

Does any of this sound familiar to you? If it doesn't, you haven't been paying much attention lately.

Naturally, plenty of people were also playing the religion card. I found several places that computer problems were God's way of issuing in Second Coming. Somehow I think that will be a bit more dramatic than a computer that won't boot up.

"Emergency services such as police, fire and medical are not sure what will happen. Experts say it will be a nightmare! Is this the great Tribulation talked about in the Bible? Maybe. But surely it is the collapse of our technological house of cards."

I wonder how disappointed this guy was when nothing — absolutely nothing — bad happened on Jan. 1, 2000? I'm guessing he at least hid it well.

Another person used the frightening possibilities to try for an interesting real estate development in southern Oklahoma.

He found 7,500 acres and was looking for 297 people to join with him. For a mere $2,400 you would have one-quarter of an acre to squat on for 16 months. Also included was an individual and a community garden area, grills for cooking and, perhaps most importantly, restrooms. You also had use of the entire 7,500 acres for hunting and fishing.

Sounds like a heck of a deal. I wonder how it worked out for him?

He was also deathly afraid of his government and worried that they would become the enemy. If you have guns bring them, he said.

Sometimes I wonder if the motivation behind all of these scare tactics are not just ways for gun dealers to up their profits. Certainly it has worked out that way.

But there is another side to this story. If the anti-government claims sound like today, so do the doomsday scenarios, but from a different source.

The arguments about global warming aren't about whether it is happening — it is — but who is causing it and what the result will be. Those on the right say it is a natural process, those on the left say it is not natural at all, but is being caused by man.

Probably the truth lies somewhere between the two extremes, but that isn't the point.

But we keep hearing about the horrors that await us in just a few years. Sea levels jumping by half-a-dozen feet, half of Florida gone, the Statue of Liberty up to her knees, ocean-front property in Marshall (OK I made that last one up).

In other words, TEOTWAWKI. I don't know — just as they didn't know in 1999 — what will happen and what won't, but I suspect it will not be TEOTWAWKI.

Furthermore, talking in TEOTWAWKI probably means less will get done to solve the problems than otherwise.

It sounds sensible to plan for the worst, but it really isn't, just ask my friend who bought thousands of MREs. Planning for the worst is mostly a waste of money and the people who want you to do it usually get a piece of the money.

Science may be advanced on global warming, but it was even more advanced on Y2K. Plan, but be sensible. While you're at it, quit demonizing the government or the prophecy you make could be self-fulfilling.

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