Forget that global warming nonsense. With the price of oil over $120 a barrel, who cares? We are talking about a really serious crisis looming directly ahead: The price of fried chicken may double.

And that isn't all. Food prices are jumping through the roof. A shortage of rice is predicted. Rice? Who would have thought? The same for corn and wheat. What will that do to the price of Ding Dongs?

So it was with more than a little interest that I plucked an interesting booklet from a box of old books the other day: "How to Live Well on Four Dollars," by the Eddys, Charles W. and Rozella D.

They are talking about the food budget — per week, mind you. For two people. They can tell you in this thin booklet how to live better on $3 a week, or the best on $2 a week. They will even show you how to live on $1 per week.

Now you might be thinking this is impossible and it probably is today. But the Eddys wrote their little booklet in 1956. Things have changed just a wee bit.

But even with the difference in the buying power of the dollar, what you could buy for $4 in 1956 would cost you $30.65 today. I'm guessing that almost any two people would be glad to find a way to eat on $31 a week. It would be even better if you took the lighter route and it would cost you only $23 a week for two.

And talk about healthy! The Eddys would have you living until well past 100 years old.

"We have the report of a man who lived on nothing but black bread and onions," the Eddys write in their introduction. "He lived to be 152 and at 150 he worked every day, had the strength of two ordinary men, was the father of several small children and the youngest was only three years old."

What killed this guy? The Eddys tell us he was unfortunate enough to move to the United States at 150 and began eating in restaurants. He was, no doubt, felled by a hamburger.

I hate to be a skeptic, but I find this story to be a little bit suspicious. Not the 150 years old part, or even the claim that he was as strong as two men.

No, I can't believe that any woman would let him get within 10 feet of her — much less father a child — if all he ate was onions and black bread. He must have been one stinky dude.

I also have some doubts about the Eddys knowledge of biology. I found this scientific gem, also in the introduction: "The cells of the body are composed of the things we eat. If you are a meat eater the cells of your body are composed of meat and your cells...desire, yes, even require meat. As your cells are replaced by meatless formed cells they will enjoy being maintained by...the natural foods suggested in these books."

Under a microscope, I imagine my cells to look like little-bitty Ding Dongs and chicken drumsticks. They are craving more, more, more!!

The Eddys have several other healthy and money-saving suggestions in their book including:

• Milk should be chewed, not just swallowed

• Drink nothing during meals (other than milk at breakfast) and don't drink either immediately before or after any meal.

• When you do drink, it must be only spring water.

• If the cost of your weekly food bill is exceeding your expectations, simply reduce the volume.

There are a few problems with the Eddys' plan today. For one thing, any milk that you drink must be unpasteurized — for that matter, unprocessed in any way. I don't quite know how you could do this on a daily basis without having your own cow. This would be difficult for apartment dwellers.

Here is an example of a day on the $4 a week diet: Morning, cereal, fresh milk, honey; noon, clabber (what sounds much better as cottage cheese) and dates; night, vegetable casserole, salad, bread and butter, and custard pie.

I will give the Eddys credit. There is more variety than you might think for $4 a week. Not that any of it sounds particularly tasty but, then, I've never tried nut meat loaf. It may be wonderful.

On the other end of the spectrum, the $1 a week diet is not so special. It includes two meals a day and the afternoon meal is always the same: Salad.

In the morning, you can probably eat all the raw sprouted wheat you would like, which for me would be darn little.

I would like to tell you that the books by the Eddys are still in print, but the couple passed away many years ago, far short of the 150 years they were probably expecting to live.

So it may be for the best. If you want to live long, stick to onions and black bread.

Just don't count on it improving your social life.