Detail.

There’s an old saying that says “you are what you eat.” Well, that may be true, but I also think that you are what you advertise; whether it be on a shirt, a bumper sticker or a sign in your yard. C+C Music Factory had a fun song called “Things That Make You Go Hmmmm”. Here are a few t-shirt slogans, bumper stickers and signs that have made me go “hmmmm.”

Honk If You Love Jesus”. I would never have this bumper sticker on my car because, trust me- if anyone one honks at me, I won’t be thinking about Jesus and my reaction may not reflect God’s goodness and mercy.

“My Child Is An Honor Student At (fill in the blank with your school)”. While I’ll be the first to admit I love bragging on my kids and grandkids, what if you have three kids and only two of them are honor students? Can we maybe have a “My Child Is An Attendee At (fill in the blank with your school)” sticker also? Just a thought.

“There are 3 Things I Love- God, My Country and the NRA”. That’s it? What about your family? Your friends? Blue Bell Ice Cream? Seems like that’s way too short of a list.

Then we have t-shirts. Sometimes, people wear shirts that clearly convey a message that fits their thinking/mindset/personality. I recently purchased one that has lots of truth behind it yet people laugh and think I’m being funny; “I like music and maybe 3 people.” No clarification needed, right? If you know me, it makes perfect sense. There are shirts that speak truths in ways you can’t imagine: “When you really want to slap someone, do it and yell “Mosquito!” LOL! Or how about ”My dentist told me a need a crown. I was like ‘I know. Right?’” Ha! “Chick Magnet”, “I’m Hot”, “I’m Not Angry, This Is Just My Face.” Usually, the people I’ve seen wearing these shirts are not magnets, hot nor happy. Just sayin’. My husband’s all time favorite shirt: “Education is important but hunting is importanter.” Oh my dear Lord!

Billboards in front of churches and mistakes found in bulletins are some of my favorites, however. “Respect Your Parents. They Passed School Without Google.” “Can We Uninstall 2020 and Install It Again? This Version Has A Virus”. “Lord, Help Us To Be The People Our Dogs Think We Are.” All signs seen on church marquees.

However, nothing is funnier than a mistake that happens inadvertently, yet speaks volumes; bad grammar and typos in church bulletins and newsletters. Examples: “Applications are now being accepted for 2 year-old nursery workers.” Really? Kinda young, don’t you think? “Next Thursday, there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.” Ouch! “Diana and Don request your presents at their wedding.“ Wouldn’t that be ‘presence’? “Mr. Bradford was elected and has accepted the office of head deacon. We could not get a better man.” Way to build up Mr. Bradford.

I could go on and on. These things make me laugh. Sometimes, we need to laugh. My teaching colleague and friend, Rachel Lockard, and I have laughed about things we’ve said in the classroom and we’ve joked about compiling a book when we retire. A “Things You Never Thought You’d Say” book. Sometimes, we know what we mean when we say things, but it comes out in a way it wasn’t meant to.

So, while I agree that we need to watch what we say, what we wear, what we put on our cars and in our yards, sometimes, it’s ok to just have a good laugh. Life is tough enough. Let’s all find time to laugh. (If you “Google” things, Google “funny church bulletins” or “funny church signs”. You’ll laugh for hours.)

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— Dawn Dillard is a proud East Texas gal who loves all things southern especially cooking, music and family. She can be reached via email at DLDplays88@aol.com.